i write for inner peace.
I have a new effect: Magician to Alchemist.
The purpose of this blog is to report my findings in my study of magic: my hidden findings; not the ones that involve learning new effects, routines, or even performing principles. The purpose of why I practice magic with the fervor of an alchemist is and always will be hagakure: hidden beneath the leaves for me to reveal.
I am a proponent of seeking the secret to mastery, like some rare earth metal or a planet with the elusive conditions to support life. Mastery is as elusive as time-travel, or getting into heaven on worldly works alone. I admit my faults and falls along the way, and my ego stares them down like an adversary yet to be defeated. I hate rivals. They bring out the fool in me, and I'm convinced to try and chase them down like shadows and catch up to their every move. I hate praise, and its allure, because it sways me away from my journey like a siren with its attractive words: praise God, and no one else. I wish to impart that on everyone I perform for, including the self I see in the mirror of my practice sessions. I fear criticism, like praise, because it can cause me to believe completely in the public opinion of others, and seek to validate every second of love-work I put into this art form with their judgement. I don't want to impress them, or to live in the shadow of proof. I don't stand behind proof, and instead, aspire to love what I do without proof. I have faith that I am in love with this art form; with my fiance; with God; with the belief that any good that comes from my magic is God's doing, and that any bad is from my own human imperfection. I am a horrible magician. I am naturally clumsy, socially awkward, set in my ways, and as oblivious an observer of people as they come. How I'm getting away with doing this for a living, I don't know. I know that I am capable of bringing out the God within through this alchemist-intense practice of this art I love only second to my fiance, my family, and God. The people who are not my audience for a fleeting moment of time, where praises, worship, and paychecks are at my grasp, are the ones worth practicing magic for; and getting good at it for. I hope to master this art in secret hopes of mastering self. The magician is the character of transformation.
I'm just going to be upfront with all the magicians in the scene that happen to be here reading this, and amazing me with enough non-indifference to come visit me here in the late-night corners of my alchemist-like lab: f**k learning new effects. The best effect learned in the practice of magic is the transformation of self. Do that, and I believe the reactions you'll get will go far beyond words, bookings, and tips.
And if you don't care to take any part of these findings I am humbly offering you an entire page of after years of laboring in the lab, oh well: God bless!
The hidden lessons of my practice are becoming apparent: they flashed! It's not so much about taking what I need from the magic advice I'm given: it's giving a compassionate ear, and the opportunity for my advice givers to speak their peace. My dad is my mentor, and loves being that. I don't care if I don't agree with 50% of the advices in magic he gives me. I'm learning to love being able to give him the opportunity to mentor me, and humble myself to take what he suggests to heart. An open ear is a gift: I don't care what I learn after that. It's not about learning to make myself the best. The trick is to stay as humble as possible no matter how good I perceive myself, or my crowd perceives me to be. The better you become, the harder it is to do that! It's not about creating an awesome show to get more gigs. It's being selfless with the money I make from them, and serving the highest possible quality Jadu I can serve to my audiences. It's not about beating myself up for doing a bad show: it's forgiving, and learning to not take things so seriously. I think I have it figured out. I think I'm learning magic, but there is so much I don't know that's being secretly taught. Mastery of the sword precedes peace. Poems precede calm silence. Loving those around you precede God. I think I get it. I'm so fooled!
The Move Unseen
A blog for magic.