Sulk Production

I don't like performing. And it's in doing what you don't like that you find love. Magic, is done sometimes against my own will- with a sense of duty, and the feeling of having to put on the hard-hat and go to work. Magic can feel Blue Collar at times. I once collapsed on the analogy that to be a performer is to be the toilet bowl-center of attention: everyone will give you shit. And piss you off. I have discovered in a recent gig sandwiched between two working days at my new office job, that people are inherently good. Despite their war-like symptoms on I-595, aka "Crazy Road", I have come to figure out the secret to loving through disliking. I dislike performing, and know that if I pass that barrier, I can grit my teeth and love; even if it makes me sigh and sulk. I sulk before gigs! My expression is that of someone who does not want to. And I would say that with vigor and enthusiasm that I don't want to perform! I am a student of transcendence, and the only way to love is to get past that which you do not like. Magic makes people happy. I would do that, even if it means me being sad. People are good: and at magic, I'm not too bad. 

-antidote